Wednesday, September 26, 2012

forgiveness

I posted this image the other day.
Maybe some of you were like "What in the world?"
But every year around this time
{and when I go back to where I come from}
I feel a little bit melancholy.

I did something the other day that I used to do all the time.
I put pen to paper. For my eyes only.
Thinking if I did I would feel better.
I debated about sharing it here ~
 it feels like I'm putting a piece of my heart "out there"
for all to see and judge but then I think about others
who might feel the same way in their own way
with their own past or present.
Just know that everything is gonna be ok...


"Once upon a time
there was a little girl
who grew up in a small southern town.
She moved away for college
then high-tailed it to the big city to work.
She eventually moved back
to her hometown
where she settled...
in more ways than one
with the wrong person.
She knew better but
she didn't believe
she deserved better.
So she settled.
Along the way she tried her best.
She made mistakes.
She tried to make it work
but she always knew.
She hurt and she got hurt.
God showed her signs along the way.
She ignored Him.
She continued to try.
It wasn't right.
This she knew.
She hurt others.
Known and unknown.
By not being true to herself.
She knew it wasn't right.
What she'd done.
She'd chosen wrong.
People talked
the way they do in a small town.
Instead she listened
 to God's whispers in her ear.
Finally one day she said no more.
She learned her lesson.
She won't make the same mistakes again.
She knows this now.
But in the lockbox of her heart she still hurts.
And she wonders if it always will.
She read that "forgiveness is giving up hope
that the past could have been any different."
She wouldn't change the past
even if she could....it led her to
here and now, living a life
better than she deserves.
This she knows.
She just hopes
that one day
she learns
to forgive
herself."

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