Friday, March 29, 2013

growing

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It's been a doozy of a week.
Various emotions are going on
in my head and my heart.
I keep thinking of how our life is so blessed
and how we're back in the routine of things
but how my sweet friend Emily's family
is turned upside down
and forever different.
Their lives will never be the same and I'm sad for their loss.
I keep thinking of her
and
how good of a mother she was.
After her funeral on Wednesday
I dropped our twins off at a boy scout meeting.
Then it was just me and my four year old
in the car driving around
until we had to get them.
I decided to swing by chikfila to grab a sweet tea.
We're in the drive through line
and my little guy sees
the indoor playground through the window.
"Mama, can we go inside and play?"
No, I tell him.
In my eight+ years of mothering
I've always said no
to spontaneous trips of things like this.
It was always hard
getting all of them out of the car
 and then always having to deal with
a fit being thrown when its time to go.
Then Emily popped in my head.
I knew if it was her
she would have said yes.
So I back out of line and find a parking spot.
This is for you Emily I said softly.
My son thought he hit the lottery.
We went in and he ran to the front of the line
and yelled out his order for a kids meal.
Other patrons were not amused.
Ha.
We got his food and my sweet tea
and watched other kids on the playground.
We called it a date...a mommy and me date.
Those solo things rarely happen
when you have multiple kids.
How sweet is was
and I knew
Emily was smiling down from heaven.
Later that night
we were playing around on the floor
after bath time.
I was laying on the floor
while Zb was making his stack of books
that he wanted to read.
Then he ran over and asked me to do that thing
where you lift them up on your feet
and they soar like an airplane.
He's a hulk so I could barely lift him off the runway.
I started singing "Fly Me to the Moon."
Then he started singing it
but was flubbing the lines
so I ran downstairs
and grabbed an old Frank Sinatra cd.
He was so excited
when I cranked up the volume
(usually a big no no in our house).
Even my older boys
asked me to turn it down
but I refused.
The music started
and my four year old's eyes
were as big as his smile.
We both sang
as loud as we could
and my twins giggled
at how bad we were.
Then my little Zb
asked me to dance with him...
old school
with his hand on my shoulder
as I knelt
on the floor
and we pretended to channel
our best box step
dance move.
Soon my other boys joined in
and we danced in a circle,
everybody singing
loud and proud.
"Fly me to the moon,
let me swing among the stars
let me see what spring is like
on Jupiter and Mars
in other words, hold my hand
in other words, baby kiss me.
Fill my heart with song
and let me sing forevermore
You are all I longed for,
all I worship and adore
In other words, please be true
In other words, I love you"
Soon my husband came in
 to see what the ruckus was
and who was causing it.
He sat down
and was shaking his head at me
riling them up
right before bed.
But that night
 I didn't care.
The boys asked him to join our dance
and soon he didn't care anymore either.
My boys were giggling,
having the best time.
My four year old,
ever the mimic,
 yelled
"This one's for you Mrs. Emily!"
I'll never forget that night
just like I'll never forget
sweet Emily
and I'll be a better mother now
because of it.


7 comments :

  1. Oh, Nancy. Your beautiful tribute to Emily has me in tears. I feel the same about now trying to enjoy every small moment.

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  2. This was beautiful. Would it be all right if I linked to this post at some point? Really makes you appreciate the moment.

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  3. I love this story so sad for your loss, but you took your grief and turned it into a life lesson that you will never forget, good for you and your sweet family for having such a wonderful Mom.
    Kathysue

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  4. Wow,,,just got so teary eyed reading this. Sweet way to honor your friend. Kids grow up so fast...good for you to enjoy them in this special way. xo

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  5. A heartbreaking story and yet your response so heart-felt and touching. I found this on Mary Ann's blog and I am so glad that I did not miss it. What a beautiful post. Happy Mother's Day to you.

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