Sunday, December 8, 2013

my goal

Not to be a downer
but
I can't remember being
as constantly ill as I have been
for over a month now
since I was pregnant with the twins.
I don't mean to complain
but this is getting ridiculous.
I have yet another virus this week...
sorry for TMI but its GI.
I feel like there is an alien inside me.
Add to that little ditty
the ten mile long run
I did last Saturday
after taking three weeks off
with a cold and then the flu
really screwed up my right leg and foot.
I've been barely able to walk all week.
I know.
Cry me a river.
I keep muttering "I don't feel good" to myself.
And while its very true
even me, myself, and I
am tired
of hearing
my whining.
Instead of woe is me
I'm trying to be grateful
because I know that this too shall pass
and next week I will feel better.
{I hope so anyway.}
For some people I know that will not be true.
My problems are nothing
when I think of
a friend of mine
who has been fighting cancer
for two years now.
I have never,
EVER
heard her mutter a complaint.
Not.
One.
Single.
Negative.
Comment.

My problems are nothing.
I have all that I need.
My children,
whom I love and adore,
and at times drive me mad,
{just keeping it real}
are happy and healthy.
There's is no greater gift that that.
My husband,
who is THE most perfect,
 loving, doting, humble man
is just that...
and he loves ME.
Me.
He's far better than I deserve.
Which just proves to me that
there IS a God in heaven
who loves me beyond measure.
To be able to make someone so perfect.
Just for me.
I am so blessed.
For my girlfriends...
the "real" ones,
my "blog-land" ones,
y'all are the peeps that keep me sane.
Thanks for that.
Its no slight challenge :)
And yes, I know I will feel better soon.

I thought I saw my girlfriend Emilie yesterday.
We stopped at the library to pick up some books
for the boys' school projects.
She was getting out of a car.
So tall and so pretty with her long blond hair.
The girl I saw was real.
But not Emilie.
She's been gone since March.
The 22nd.
This month, on that day,
it will be nine months since she passed.
A whole pregnancy of time.
I don't know why I still think I see her.
In glimpses of other ladies who look like her.
But I do.
I think its to remind me to be thankful.
That I'm here.
With mine I love so dear.
I wish she was still here.
With hers.

Walt Whitman Quote | grownupshoes.com
via grownup shoes.com

I know I'm not the only one with a lot of things going on.
Its the busiest time of the year.
But also the most wonderful.
I think anyway.
Try to slow down
and enjoy every minute of it.
Be thankful for all that God has given you.
And for what He has NOT given you.
That's my goal anyway.
I'm feeling better already.
I hope you are too.

 
 
 


2 comments :

  1. Once again you speak what is on my mind. I have not felt well for quite some time myself and I am sick of my own whining. I am so overwhelmed with my everyday life but too tired and not motivated to do anything about it. I try to remember to be grateful for all of the wonderfully amazing things in my life instead of throwing myself a pity party. Some days are harder than others...I have to remind myself that much to my dismay, I am not perfect!

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  2. Oh, Nancy, you poor thing. This is making me feel appreciative that I'm healthy and need to get my rear to the gym. Perhaps, that was Emily just giving you word that she is in a better place. A few months after my dad died, I had the most vivid dream of him telling me to be good to my mom with lots of good cheer and strength in his voice...and I felt more peaceful.

    It's all GOOD.

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