Wednesday, January 15, 2014

a good egg

 
I know I just posted a feel good story
It hit close to home.
I don't think I've ever mentioned it
but I have a nephew who has autism.
He's a beautiful boy
who has made great progress
since he was first diagnosed.
I remember when my sister
first called me
to tell me...I feel horrible but
I told her there was no way
it could be true.
I didn't believe it.
I'd seen him when they came to visit us
when he was about a year and a half.
He was the happiest, most communicative baby.
A few months later we went south to see my family.
My sisters and their families came together
{which I am so thankful for because
they all have busy lives within Georgia
but its still a haul for them}
and we saw him for the first time
since his diagnosis.
 
I remember sitting in the den
of the house I grew up in,
watching him.
I just cried.
There were lots of feelings going on.
Lots of things I wont go into here.
I thought of how my sister must have felt
when I told her "there's no way"
and yet it was in front of me -
the truth, her reality,
which I unknowingly denied.
How that must have hurt her.
And to know this particular sister of mine,
you would know she is the kindest, gentlest thing,
the kind that remembers every anniversary,
every birthday,
never has a bad thing to say about anybody.
You get the picture.
She's a good egg.
And so is he, my nephew.
A good egg.
Different.
But the same.
 
Sometimes our eyes meet briefly.
I whisper to him,
that I know he's in there,
and that I know
he hears every word we say.
I remember last summer
when we were all gathered together
during our annual pilgrimage to the south,
all the sisters and their families
piled into various cars to go on a day trip.
I remember this sister talking
to one of my sons in the car.
Later that night she was complimenting him to me.
And then she quietly said
"I've never had a real conversation with {my son}.
That must feel really good to {have that}."
Anyway...sorry I got off on a tangent.
I'm glad I remembered that though.
I hope I'll think of her words
every time I'm longing
 for peace and quiet
in our rowdy home.
 
Here's the story I started off with.
Get a hanky in hand first.
 
 


6 comments :

  1. you have a way with words!! sounds like your nephew probably has a beautiful soul like your sister! must be great when y'all can see it shine :-)

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    1. you're very sweet :) he definitely lights up the room when he's in it.

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  2. That story is awesome! I agree with the first comment...you nephew has a beautiful soul, as does your sister and you. I am sure your sister did not take your comment as negative. It was a from the gut reaction, not meant as mean. I have a 4 year old son who is delayed in speech. At 3 he had the vocabulary of an 18 month old. As you can imagine there is a lot of social development that comes with speech so Ben is not your average 4 year old. He is in a speech class and has made great leaps. He is above average in almost every other category but speech. You would not believe what hurtful things strangers have said to me..."What's wrong with him?" " What is his problem?" " is he retarded?" and my personal favorite " He is definitely autistic. You are in denial but he is on the autistic spectrum." My friend almost had to hold me back on that one. There need to be more people like that man on the plane. I just read somewhere where a family w/ an autistic child were out at dinner. Their child was having a difficult time. Most of the patrons were annoyed but one family did something special...they paid for the family's dinner. They flagged down the waitress, paid their tab and left them a note saying they deserved a dinner on them, they were good parents.

    I had my first real conversation with Ben a few months ago. I was in heaven!! Give your sister a hug from me...one mother to another. My wish for her is to be surrounded by people like the man on the plane and that couple in the restaurant.

    Tery

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    1. Hi Tery! {{hugs}} thanks for your note and for sharing your son's story. its so hard to turn the other cheek when strangers feel like its ok for them to say whatever is on their mind especially about your children. brings out the mama bear in us as it should :) I hope and know that ben will continue to make great progress, especially with a mom like you! I think if more people were to share their stories then we could all learn and grow and put ourselves in the other persons shoes then the world will be a better place. thanks for sharing yours :)

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  3. I read this on FB and cried my eyes out. What a beautiful letter! Hope you're having a great week.

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    Replies
    1. thanks Katie! I hope the weather in Boston is a bit warmer this week for you :)

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