Tuesday, February 19, 2013

moving on

So I have this friend and she going through some "stuff".
{The same could be said for a lot of my friends...heck it pretty much sums up all of us right?}
So this one friend in particular got divorced recently and she's in a state of flux.
She's already downsized - sold her house, packed up her belongings,
and is living with friends while she contemplates what to do next.
She's debating about moving to the other side of the country to start over.
We talked for a long time yesterday -
about what was stopping her from going.
She's afraid.
Don't be afraid to fail. be afraid not to try.
Over a decade ago I was this friend.
Slightly different circumstances.
The who, what, when, why, and where different but in a way still the same.
And I was afraid.
Of everything.
Of what ifs...
you know the drill.
We stood there yesterday and I told her the true story of how many moons ago
I realized I was fighting a losing battle for something that wasn't real or true,
for a life that wasn't "me" but that I was too hard headed to admit to.
Out loud any way.
So on this particular day - a Saturday way back when- I'll never forget it.
The universe led me to be in a certain place at a certain time where all was revealed.
Don't you hate it when you're confronted with the truth as it slaps you HARD into reality
 and you knew it all along but NOW you have to DEAL with it?
see the opportunities for what they are
I didn't know what to do.
I ended up racing to a friend's house that was nearby.
She found me sobbing on her front porch.
God love her.
This girl, this angel put on earth.
She brought me a pen and paper...
and not just any paper...
it was the most beautiful, delicate paper with a delicate border
of orange and gold.
Buddhist holy paper she said.
Write down what you want.
In life, in a mate, in whatever.
"What do you want?" she asked.
"Write it down" she said.
And so I did.
I cried and I wrote.
Oh how ugly "the ugly cry" is right?
I went home that day with a beautiful list for a beautiful life.
I put it in my Bible.
Its still there to this day... the sacred secrets of my heart.
I decided that day to let go and let God.
No more living in fear.
Of who, what, where, and with who.
Of anything and everything.
I was enough and I would be ok.
I'm thankful I didn't let fear allow me to stay in a place I didn't belong.
I don't know what you believe.
This may all be too hokey for you and that's ok.
I guess what I'm trying to say through this long post is not to let fear stop you.
From anything.
make a mistake
As much as I don't want my friend to move I think she should.
I told her she was standing on a cliff and she should just jump.
Just go for it.
You are all you need.
{you know what I mean...I think}
What about you?
Is there anything you want to do but you're afraid?
Rethink it and ask yourself one of my favorite quotes:

"What would you do if you KNEW you wouldn't fail?"

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